Saturday, February 15, 2003

I'm at the point where I think the essay is shit, that I've written myself into a hole and I'm going to fail all my courses. time to stop and go watch The World's Scariest Places.... g'night.
When the colour of the night
and all the smoke for one life
gives way to shaky movements,
improvisational skills,
a forest of whispering speakers
let's swear that we will
get with the times,
in a current health to stay
let's get friendship right
get life day-to-day
in the forget-yer-skates dream
full of countervailing woes
in diverse-as-ever scenes
proceeding on a need-to-know
in a face so full of meaning
as to almost make it glow

O' for a good life, we might just have to weaken

----the tragically hip, It's a good life if you don't weaken

Back in the late eighties, I worked at a gas station owned by an Irish lady named Sheelagh. What usually happened, when I worked with her, was that I did the work and she talked to a steady stream of men all day long. I was fascinated by this, because although she was friendly and sweet, she wasn't tremendously good-looking, being rather short and brassy.

Yesterday, on my way home from work, I was thinking about my day. In the morning, Charlie and Al who walk the mall and two or three bus drivers and David who plays Keno came and talked to me. There's a boat show happening at the mall, and the guy who's supposed to be selling the boats came by at regular intervals and talked to me. At lunch time, some old guys stopped and talked to me about the boats. In the afternoon, John from the courier company and Tony from the debit machine company both stopped to talk to me. And Chris, who has an hour to kill between buses most afternoons. In between times, all my regular little old men came and I gave them candy because it was Valentine's day. I had a couple of little conversations with women, but mostly, it was men.

So what happens when women get to be 35? None of the men who used to come and talk to Sheelagh were ever interested in talking to me, when I was 20. And, like Sheelagh, I don't have any illusions that I'm good-looking, in fact I'm snaggletoothed and short, and it can't be my boobs cos I hardly have any...

Anyway. Back to crime statistics.

Friday, February 14, 2003

Hostilities aren't stilled
through hostility,
regardless.
Hostilities are stilled
through non-hostility:
this, an unending truth.

Unlike those who don't realize
that we're here on the verge
of perishing,
those who do:
their quarrels are stilled.

- from The Dhammapada, Pairs.

Thursday, February 13, 2003

happy tomorrow...
I should be studying. Or editing my term paper on crime statistics... so what am I doing? I'm making turtle cookies for the kids' valentine parties at school tomorrow. 22 for Rachel's class, 24 for Ian's class, Kirsten's class doesn't need any because they're having a Dance instead. With a capital D, trust me. Joeby has been hanging around in the kitchen trying to get his tongue up far enough on the counter to steal cookie dough, when he thinks I'm not looking. Inbetween times, I've been spelling names for the valentines. "How do you spell cock?" "Why do you want to know?" "Because I want to give one to the student teacher and his name's Mr. Hancock." "Oh, right."