I'm procrastinating again. I'm still working on the endless obscenity paper. Unfortunately I don't feel particularly strongly about the whole issue, and that makes it hard to write the paper. Well, actually, it's written, I'm just doing the usual obsessive editing.

Once this is done I have to start on harm reduction in drug policy, and I can't say as how I'm passionate about that either. Oh well.

I got a book on growing bonsai trees, and I have three little pine tree seedlings that I'm coddling in my kitchen window. (That sounds good, until I tell you I've killed eight already...)

One of my friends from the AVP, a prisoner, got into a fight with some guards at William Head, and they transferred him to Mission. After some deliberation, I sent him a card, and got a five page letter in response.

Long pause. I've been away a lot, in Kamloops and then last weekend in Victoria for the AVP again. I did the facilitator training, and caused some trouble by playing a porn star in a roleplaying exercise. Not my idea, I suppose I should clarify. But a very surreal experience.

I spoke yesterday to the woman in charge of AVP for the Fraser Valley, and she invited me to go and facilitate at Ferndale (minimum security in Mission) any time I wanted, which is interesting.
The job I applied for, doing research for the alternative dispute resolution people, is still a possibility. The deadline for the government to make their decisions has been pushed to June 30, so maybe by the summer I'll be doing something more interesting. I still try not to think about it too much, however.

It's obscenity law, this week. The paper I'm writing, I mean. Dad says he knows lots of obscenities, if I run short.

Went for dinner at Mum and Dad's on the weekend. Mum was drunk when we got there, and it went downhill from there. I don't want to see her any more. She's never sober, and I can't predict whether she'll be lovey or mean...

On Thursday this week I'm off to Kamloops, to the Crimestoppers conference. I'm looking forward to the main speaker, I've seen him on tv and he's very powerful. The weekend after that I'm back to Victoria to do the facilitator training for the Alternatives to Violence Project. I'm looking forward to that too, although it will be a lot more work than the conference and won't involve any drinking.

I got an A+ for the electroshock paper, and some very nice comments. He said my writing style was "highly developed" which is good to hear. There's hope yet :)

happy easter...

I've eaten too much chocolate, and am anxious beyond belief. I was doing ok until my momma-in-law gave me a white chocolate bunny...

Electroboy rules.

I'm working on a paper, sitting on my bed with all my notes on mental patients and autonomy (hence the quote in the title bar here) spread out all around me, books open to specific pages, two or three drafts with red pen scribblings on them, photocopied journal articles, all arranged. Jazz comes in, jumps up on the bed, roots through all of it with her nose, makes herself a space right in the middle and settles down to nap.

Rented The House of Sand and Fog last night. I adore Ben Kingsley. He was just as good as in Sexy Beast, but completely different again. I don't know who any of the others were in the movie, but it doesn't really matter, it was his movie.

got brand new lottery machines at work today, very cool, touchscreens like little laptops, with superfast laser thermal printers. bc lotteries joins the 21st century. unfortunately today being Saturday, it was a massive pain to have the technician there fumbling about and turning off the Keno board while the little old men were trying to play. then when he turned the Keno board back on, it wasn't giving new draws, it was just rerunning old draws, so the little men kept thinking they had won and they hadn't.

and I canvassed for the kidney foundation, something I had been putting off. Made 27 dollars and nobody swore at me, pretty good.

Ian wants to know what happened to Oldfoundland... why did they need a new one?

Saw whales from the ferry yesterday. Orcas.

I'm tired.

At Kirsten's band concert on Thursday night, I met the boy she is currently chasing. He looks like a blonde Ashton Kutcher, very cute. He actually called to Kirsten from down the hallway as we were leaving, to introduce her to his mom. Kirsten's so sarcastic and just generally larger than life, I contrast how I was at that age and I feel very unworldly. She's got more self-confidence right now than I had at 22. I swear. In this I think she definitely takes after her father.

Rachel's report card said that she "demonstrates empathy" towards the kids in her class. Ian's report card praised his imagination, and Kirsten's mentioned her volunteer work in the school, she likes to help with the kindergarten kids, and she's in demand as a sorter of hot lunch orders. I commented on these things to them, and told Kirsten that it didn't matter a bit that she got a C in Personal Planning, whatever the hell that is. She comes home with marks that she's agonizing about, last term she got a B in Language Arts and expected me to be furious and I pretty much said, "Who cares, you read a lot". When she got her course selections for next year (she's going to high school, believe it or not) she told me she was signing up for basic English, and I said, "Whatever you want". I wondered why she wasn't trying for Honours English, but I figured if I said anything she'd go back to school saying "My mom's MAKING me take Honours English" and I didn't want that. Just before the form was due to be handed in, she came up behind me while I was packing my lunch and said, "I talked to Mrs. Hammond and she says I can try for Honours English", and I said, "Sounds good to me."

I'm writing my paper on electroshock therapy. Informed consent issues and such. I registered for one more class yesterday, for the summer term. I'm contemplating adding another, but since I had such a hell of a time last summer doing the work while it was hot, I think maybe I'll just leave it at one. After that I'll have four courses left.

curious?

I have applied for a job doing research for the government. And passed the first round of interviews, locally. Second round is upcoming, and will be done by people from Ottawa. The research is centred around the residential school issues that the government wants to resolve with alternative dispute resolution mechanisms, since there is a backlog of 10,000 cases.

I'm hopeful, as I fulfill all the criteria (thanks in part to the First Nations Studies course I waded through in my first semester and the law courses I took) and I've even got an English degree. It would be funny if it actually did me some good now!

Only problem is, if I think too hard about this, I don't want to go and sell another lottery ticket EVER. So, I am not thinking about it. (believe me? I thought not.)

The ex-secretary of Crimestoppers emailed me today to say congratulations. One less confrontation to worry about. My mother came and stayed the day today as M is in Victoria for the Species at Risk conference and I had to go to class. She frightened the children, as usual. When I got home Kirsten said, "Grannie made my BED." Rachel, while I was cooking supper, asked me, "Why does Grannie worry so much? I told her she's a worrier."

Well. The Crimestoppers fundraiser went very well, even though the two weeks surrounding it were hell. Some sneaky politics find me elected secretary for the coming year, supporting a really nice executive composed of the people who did all the work last year... sometimes there is justice. Apparently I wasn't the only one who hated the old secretary, everyone else was just too scared of her to do anything about it. M commented today that perhaps James should just call me every hour on the hour as a matter of principle.

My course is going well, I actually got a good mark for my presentation and the accompanying paper, and some of the nicest comments I've ever received on a paper.

Next weekend I'm going back to prison, and Ryan Vestby's band is coming to the Cambie hotel to play (wish you were here, Graeme...) and I'll have to miss it. Hopefully he will get into town before I have to leave for Victoria, as I haven't seen him since we lived in Field and he came out to stay. Ian answered the phone when he called last week, and when Ian passed me the phone Ryan said, "You got some huge kids there, Kate." If I think about it, Ian was about 3 or 4 last time we saw Ryan.

I'm still somewhat dazed. I find it hard to believe on some levels that I have become involved with the Alternatives to Violence Project. It came about so fast, I'm not used to my offers of help being accepted. I've been mulling over all the things that happened this last weekend. Some people told me some things that were very painful. I expressed my feeling of being drained to one of them, and he said, "it's disclosure, it always leaves you tired." Graeme used the same word when I was telling him some of what went on.

It's not in the realm of the everyday, for me, to hear so much about violence.

Long week. I was tired from the weekend in prison (go ahead, make your conjugal visit jokes, I've heard 'em all). Thankfully someone had won the SuperSeven, so it was pretty quiet at work. We're gearing up for the fundraiser for Crimestoppers, which means lots of work upcoming this week.

Kirsten has broken up with her first boyfriend, and is chasing another boy... the fun begins.

Rachel's Brownie troop has a new owl. A new leader, that is, and they're called owls, and they get little names, like Brown Owl, Ruby Owl, Sunshine Owl, etc. Rachel came home and said she was supposed to think of a name for said owl. Miguel said, Skanky Owl and Kirsten thought that was pretty funny, but Rachel misheard and said, no, not Stinky cos she didn't smell. Kirsten came by later when I was working on my paper and said, "How about Obsessive-Compulsive Owl?"

whoof. Nobody's won the superseven yet, so it continues to be freaking busy. I think my arm may fall off from pressing buttons.

I went yesterday and delivered my in-class presentation on fractals and mental disorder. I've come up with a new strategy for this. I pretended there was no-one in the room except Dr. Menzies and Gerald (who was in one of my classes last term). I even addressed remarks to each of them, as Gerald had given his presentation just before mine, and he said something I wanted to pick up on. I even had overheads. And Dr. Menzies liked my charts. So I think it'll all be ok.

I'm going back to the prison this weekend. I'm not so nervous about that this time, as I know the drill. I hate the bit where the doors clang shut behind me. Especially if I'm on my own, as you have to wait in a little cage for someone to come with the van and pick you up. The workshop this weekend is more advanced, I'm looking forward to it.