M has come home early. Kids are happy to see him... He enjoyed his stay in Victoria, apparently the campus is full of rabbits?

The weather was lovely, a slight breeze and a few clouds, and we duly headed off to Newcastle Island. Although I decided not to bring a backpack, so it wasn't really a picnic, but we did have icecream from the concession. We found a little beach and made a sand castle which, as Ian pointed out, looked something like Buddha. And we discussed a whole bunch of things, and got sand between our toes, watched ferries and saw a snake and fleets of crabs and sat on the deck of the little ferry with the wind in our hair. I put the end of my icecream cone in my mouth and told the kids I was a wasp, and Ian said, "You'd have to put it up your bum to be a wasp..." Kirsten told us the story she heard when she came out to Newcastle with her class, about the Hawaiian Islander who was hanged at Kanaka Bay for murdering his girlfriend's entire family. She says the authorities knew he was guilty because his girlfriend's father managed to bite off the Islander's thumb while being attacked.

The kids are sad that I'm not going to Edmonton with them, they're going on the 12th for ten days, but I have two big papers due the week after and I want to wait and take time off when I'm finished school in August. Miguel is taking them to stay at his aunt's cabin at Alberta Beach, and they're looking forward to it.

Just to prove that dogs have more fun...

went to a barbecue at Joy's house tonight. I actually drove, which gave me obsessive worries all day, but it was ok. Even though I got lost and contemplated eating the sushi I was bringing and heading home, I found her house in the end. It was a bit bizarre, because everyone else had significant others in tow, and I didn't. Kirsten had very kindly agreed to babysit for me, but I promised I'd be home by eight, so I didn't bother bringing anything to barbecue since I don't eat meat anyway and drew a blank as to what I'd consider cooking. Of course, that meant that everyone kept asking me "You're not eating?" To which I replied, "No, I'm not staying." Which really didn't make sense in the end as I stayed until they were ready to have dessert. The mayor was there, and Joy's barbecue sprung a leak and sprouted alarming flames underneath. (Unrelated facts, but there you have it.)

Tonight I'm working on a paper. In a little while I will put the kids to bed, and I don't have to get up to go to work in the morning so I can please myself whether I go to bed or not. I went down to the booth this morning to check in on Joseph, who was meant to be working, and he seemed to be doing fine. Rachel wants us to go to Newcastle Island tomorrow for a picnic, so we'll see what the weather does. I'm quite enjoying my mini holiday...

went to Canada Day in the park today. We (the volunteer group I belong to) put RCMP tattoos on (I swear) most of the people downtown. Had to go down to work first and give the little talk to one of the employees... the one where you hint that others might like the shifts if she can't do the job properly... Maybe it's just too much for you? Sometimes this works. She professes to need the money. We'll see. But the having to do it always puts my stomach in knots. As if it wasn't already mad at me. my stomach, I mean.

I'm only working tomorrow, then I get four days off as M is leaving tomorrow and he's going to be out of town until Sunday night, so I'm staying home with the kids, as I think I mentioned.

drinking was fun. we had beer, and it was good. Then we walked home, about an hour, and along the way we changed a sign outside a church (not telling you which one). the message didn't make sense, it was one of those InsPiRational ones, and it said something about "That which it is, it is, and always will be your" or something, and we took an A and an S and another S and added them to the bottom, on a line of their own. Then a bit further on, some boys in a car shouted rude things at us (it was almost 3 am by that time) and Graeme mooned them. So we felt it necessary to sit behind a fence for rather a long time and hope they didn't come back and beat the shit out of us.

My stomach still hates me. As a mostly non-drinker, it wasn't sure what to make of the amount of beer...

Graeme is here. It's good to see him. We're going out later, hopefully to drink.

kids are done school. I still have to work, which leaves them bouncing about at home... I'm having a few days off next week with them. I wish we could just all go and sit by the lake and forget about lottery tickets...

I'm cross-eyed from spending the weekend writing about patriarchal gender-role expectations and aboriginal women in the Canadian justice system. (I know, I really have too much fun, don't I). I love the bits of the essay-writing process when I get to pit my experts against each other. There is some disparity in the idea that Canadian Indigenous culture was, before contact with us whitefolks, a non-patriarchal/women-oppressing type of society. I get to quote all the pundits who disagree with each other, like Jerry Springer with a wordprocessor.

Seriously, I watched Jerry Springer the other night when I had an electric foot and couldn't sleep (one of those things that happens) and it was a man whose wife had left him for a hermaphrodite. Someone in the audience asked the hapless hermaphrodite what he/she had "down there", and the hermaphrodite dropped drawers and demonstrated.

Also, it was a dog mascot suit, and I did dance by the side of the road and wave to motorists. It was a blast, and I think if I can't find a job when I'm finished university I want to become the A&W RootBear. I found myself seized with an uncontrollable urge to shake the flappy tail on the back of the outfit, and dance like Gumby with epilepsy.... too much fun.

I got my tax bill today. Due to the sale of all assets of the coffee shop, I owe a big chunk. I was beginning to think about leaving town without forwarding address, until Kirsten said, what about all the money in the cupboard?

It's a long story, the money in the cupboard. With moving out to the Mall (capitalized, naturally) I left my bank downtown. I get off work at 4. My bank downtown closes at 4. I stuff my deposits into the bank machine at the Mall. I am given, every day, large amounts of change from people's purses and pockets, as I think I've mentioned. I can't stuff these large amounts of change into the bank machine. So, to keep them from choking up my safe, I started bringing them home with the idea of one day making it to my real bank.

This of course never happened. So tonight, in the despair engendered by the tax bill, I counted my cupboard full of money. Since those of you who know where I live aren't burglars, I'll tell you: 3726.00 worth of two dollar coins, quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies. For some reason, nobody gives me one dollar coins. This, in the spirit of money under mattresses, will go a fair way towards paying my tax bill. And depending on how I feel, I might just take it to the government and dump it on the counter. Voici, Madame ou Monsieur/ Here, Mr. or Ms. taxman, is all your money. (this is Canada, after all) Hope you've got a bank that's open past 4pm.

Tomorrow I get to go dress up in a bear mascot suit and dance by the side of the road to entice people to visit the karate bake sale, fun fair etc. Should be a laugh.

My midterm did indeed go well. I got 87%, and I'm really happy about that as the class average was 60%. So tonight I feel better about the whole thing. I was beginning to wonder if maybe I had gotten in over my head. With getting permission to skip the pre-requisites for the the 300 level courses, I felt a bit in the deep end, and so compensated for that the only way I knew how... studying obsessively.

Ian has the sickness Rachel had. I still haven't managed to throw it off. Stress, I'm guessing. I'm once again making turtle cookies for a bake sale. And contemplating weeding my bean patch. Which is growing nicely. Also my lettuces. Peas are a bit scraggly, and something's eating the radishes as fast as the leaves come up. No sign of carrots yet. Slow growing root vegetables. Graeme will be here on Tuesday. Yay!

Long week. Rachel is better, and her birthday was all right, although a bit low key because she hasn't been well. I had to go with her to Brownies on Wednesday night, as they were doing year-end things. Then Thursday I went to Simon Fraser for my Crim 330 midterm (which went well, despite my obsessing) and stayed overnight there in the residence, as the test went til 9:30 at night. Came back Friday to work (this entailed getting up at 5 am to catch the 830am ferry...) and then yesterday I did Rachel's birthday party with her little friends, swimming and cake.

Graeme will be here soon, it will be good to see him.

Rachel is much better today, she's pink again. A bit tired, still a bit weak, but better. So no IV. Bought her a skateboard for her birthday, which is tomorrow. She'll be 8. Hard to believe.

spent the evening in the emergency with Rachel, who has been fighting a fever for the last few days. I've been sick too, but not as bad as her. Tonight she was at Gramma's with M, and he brought her home about seven thirty, and I didn't like the look of her. She was sort of out of it, and her lips were bleeding, and she was restless and fretting. I asked M if he thought he could take her to the Dr. tomorrow morning but he said, no, he had too much to do, so I got him to take us to emergency.

They were very sweet to her, she's obviously ill, and they managed to bring her fever down, (although she didn't like how they did it..."do you know what a suppository is, Rachel?") and they said she's on the edge of dehydration. If she doesn't start taking in fluids, tomorrow she'll have to go back and get blood tests for electrolyte balance and go on an IV but I'm hoping we can avoid that. She's asleep at the moment. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I wish there were a way to make it all go away. To sit down in a corner and say, no, I've lost my sanity and I'm just going to sit here for a month until it comes wandering back of its own accord, and apologizes for screwing with me for so long. Then the dust under the couches and the pine needles in the bathtub and the clothes festering under the beds would be remedied by some sort of kindly matron person, and I could knit little sweaters for squirrels and the state would pay for it. I'm sure the squirrels would have all the answers, too, and if I listened to them they'd tell me that work is for suckers and life is for hanging upside down in trees and yelling at people.

I'm writing a paper on poverty and socio-structural disadvantage.

So, naturally, I'm reading about this.

No, it's ok, really, it has nothing to do with what I'm writing about. I find that if I take a little break every hour or so and surf aimlessly it helps my concentration. I'm chasing schizophrenia, today, after reading about the man who got the Supreme Court to say that he couldn't be made to take medication.

And he even has holes in his underwear, now.

things could be worse, my name could be...this

On Thursday of last week I actually went out. To a bar. With other people. Granted, it was underneath a hotel and we were the only folk in the place with teeth, but I had a beer, courtesy of Emilia, and the men (six of them) all had wings to celebrate it being Chuck's last night with us (the police volunteers). He's retiring. The wings looked dire, but Chuck got all sentimental anyway.

This week I am working all week again, the Tuesday girl didn't get her knee surgery but she's convinced the pain in her side is cancer and is trying to find a doctor who agrees with her. This, apparently, is a full time job.