Rachel's Brownie troop has a new owl. A new leader, that is, and they're called owls, and they get little names, like Brown Owl, Ruby Owl, Sunshine Owl, etc. Rachel came home and said she was supposed to think of a name for said owl. Miguel said, Skanky Owl and Kirsten thought that was pretty funny, but Rachel misheard and said, no, not Stinky cos she didn't smell. Kirsten came by later when I was working on my paper and said, "How about Obsessive-Compulsive Owl?"

whoof. Nobody's won the superseven yet, so it continues to be freaking busy. I think my arm may fall off from pressing buttons.

I went yesterday and delivered my in-class presentation on fractals and mental disorder. I've come up with a new strategy for this. I pretended there was no-one in the room except Dr. Menzies and Gerald (who was in one of my classes last term). I even addressed remarks to each of them, as Gerald had given his presentation just before mine, and he said something I wanted to pick up on. I even had overheads. And Dr. Menzies liked my charts. So I think it'll all be ok.

I'm going back to the prison this weekend. I'm not so nervous about that this time, as I know the drill. I hate the bit where the doors clang shut behind me. Especially if I'm on my own, as you have to wait in a little cage for someone to come with the van and pick you up. The workshop this weekend is more advanced, I'm looking forward to it.

just because

nice weekend... finally got Patricia Cornwell's book on Jack the Ripper from the library. I don't entirely agree with her conclusions, I don't think any of it would stand up in court, but it was interesting all the same. Inbetween that, Ian had a birthday party to attend, Kirsten's friend Caitlin slept over and they watched Freddy vs. Jason. I watched for a while, but I was trying to complete notes for an in-class presentation I have to give on Feb 3rd, so I drifted in and out. We wondered, however, as both Freddy and Jason are supposed to be unkillable, why they would bother to have a classic battle in a boiler room.

So tonight I'm working on my presentation, which has to do with fractals and mental disorder. Other than that I have one paper and a final exam for this course, so it feels as if I have extra time suddenly. Very cool.

trying to overcome the paralysis brought on by having too many things to do. I dispatched a fair number of them this morning,
miscellaneous banking and postal errands,
library fines,
more crepe paper for the never-ending flowers,
a visit to Robyn as the word is that everyone feels that I've "dropped off the face of the earth", a quote for a balloon palm tree for Mexican night (he suggested a balloon cactus, lit from within),
a trip to the shop that sells the only soap I like; Bee and Flower sandalwood soap,
emails to the hotel that is accomodating the band for Mexican night...

The library also yielded a book of pictures of the life of Gandhi and a book about addictions that I might be able to use in a paper I have to write soon. Other than that, I just have the year end books for the booth to do, I think I mentioned that my accountant wants that done soon. So, tonight I will deal with all the piles. I told him I was at the piles stage, everything was organized but not compiled yet. This is also one way I force myself to get going on it, the visual lack of aesthetics of a collection of papers in the corner of the living room. I'm the only one who spends any time here, though, so it's only bugging me. Leaving it too long also means I run the risk of having the dogs plough through it on their way to bark at cats or forage for treats.

Oh, my. Where to start. Spent the weekend in prison talking about violence, playing with tinkertoy, making paper monsters, playing basketball, walking by the sea, eating too many cookies, hearing stories... I'm still processing.

The Alternatives to Violence project is not as it seems. There is much talking, no preaching. Also a lot of goofy exercises, meant to show interconnectedness and build community. I met some people with a lot of pain in their lives, their own pain and that they have caused in others. We did role-playing. I listened a lot. Something about the process invites a sort of suspension of the fear of feeling silly, and there were some extremely silly moments. And some funny ones. One of the prisoners was telling me that he was reading about Gandhi, and I asked him if he'd ever seen the Ben Kingsley movie. He said no, and I said, offhand, "It's kind of long". He giggled and replied, "I've got lots of time."

On Saturday, I was in the hallway talking to one of the prisoners, and he introduced me to a man not participating in the program. We shook hands., and he proceeded to tell me about his children and grandchild, and how he was looking forward to someday seeing them again... He told me his application for little trips out had been approved. I told him that was wonderful, and he left. The next afternoon, during one of the breaks in the program, I suddenly felt I was being watched. I turned around and saw that he had returned, and as I caught his eye he gave me a big grin and gestured for me to come talk to him. I was quite touched to find that he had brought pictures of his children and his grandson to show me...

I'll be going back in February.

I rented and watched the movie Magnolia this weekend. The rain of frogs therein came as a surprise (I don't get out much) and considering how much I liked the movie, I think it's interesting that it coincides with the title of this venue.

It is snowing here. Yesterday I got all the way to Burnaby before they announced that SFU was closed, about 10 am. So, I turned around and came home again. Since the skytrain was abysmally slow due to the "extreme snow conditions" (ya gotta love Vancouver, they had barely a half inch) it took me 9 hours to do the round trip, and I never even made it to campus. I was boarding the last bus, ten minutes away from the school, and the bus driver told us that the school was closing and that if we stayed on the bus and went up to SFU they couldn't guarantee that the buses would still be running to bring us back down.

We have a fair amount of snow here in Nanaimo, about two feet fell in all, and it's piled up all over the place like Edmonton (although not as much as Lake Louise) the mall was open today but hardly anyone came.

I'm going to be in Victoria this weekend, at William Head Institution (minimum security) as a volunteer for an Alternatives to Violence workshop. I think I mentioned I was there before Christmas for a Restorative Justice symposium. The only thing I'm nervous about is the bit where I have to go in by myself and give up all my valuables, etc. I've met a few of the people I'll be working with and they seem very kind.

On New Year's Day we pooled all our money and went skiing. Which was awesome, as always. Ian proved his usual daredevil self, falling off the chairlift, crashing into the platter lift building, having a spectacular charliebrown style wipeout and losing skis, coat, mitts, scarf, poles etc. I met him halfway downhill after this particular one, and he was carrying all his equipment and looking very vacant. He claimed to be walking back to the top. Kirsten whined a lot. She's gained some weight, due to her eating habits and her general fitness level being low. Rachel we left at my mother's. She's still a bit mad at me for this, as my mother organized the life out of her for the day...

Today I managed a rare day off. So, at 6 pm, I am still sitting in my pajamas, drinking the sherry my mother left at Christmas and listening to The Police, with the dogs. The others have all gone to gramma's.

Yesterday was our 15th wedding anniversary. We went out for dinner, and although we each ordered a margarita, M started to feel anxious after a few sips. No problem, I drank both.

Today, it is snowing. Which is uncommonly beautiful, here, with the huge trees all weighted down with snow, and the sky a backlit grey.

I've been thinking about my new year. This year's word was equanimity, and I had fun trying to find it. I think next year's word will be growth.

Christmas is done. It went quite well, although my parents were early for dinner and his were late. As in, we told them turkey dinner would be at 3:30, and Mum and Dad showed up at 11, and M's parents at 3:45. Then afterwards his parents took off pretty quickly and mine decided to stay overnight. Although Mum claims to have "almost" quit smoking, she forgot to empty the ashtray she was surreptitiously using (and filling) on the deck. I wondered what was up when the first thing she said to me when I came in the kitchen on boxing day was "I can't open the back door". I said, "Do the dogs want to go out?" and she replied, "NO, I do." Since I was half asleep, I thought she was just being sarcastic...

I have advertised for more help, due to the apparent desertion of the sick employee. Which means I have to train someone. Which I hate, as I think I have mentioned here before. I'm also supposed to be doing the business year end, as my new accountant is local, unlike my old one who was still in Alberta. My new one is a customer at the booth, so he's in a good position to harrass me. And I've volunteered (and I know why, it's because James fed me beer) to make paper flowers for the Crimestoppers mexican night, so this afternoon I was out pricing crepe paper. And I'm going to start my training for the Alternatives to Violence Project the weekend of the 10th in Victoria. Class at SFU starts on the 6th, and I'm looking forward to this one, as I've read some of the professor's work and he has some interesting ideas. It's about mental disorder and the law.

Oh, and just for fun, I got my marks and my GPA's now 4.16 hee hee.

Last night I dreamt someone gave me a cigar, and I was contemplating smoking it. It's been four years and ten days since I last had a cigarette. I wonder when the urge to smoke goes away...

About an hour ago I called to see if the girl mentioned in the last post was going to come to work on Saturday, and she told me she's going to be sick for another week. I wonder how she knows this? And why she has to do this right before Christmas? She hasn't even actually told me what she has, sickness-wise, only that she's "not up to working". Work is damn inconvenient, isn't it.

Anyway. Grannie is said to be feeling somewhat better, and is getting out of bed again, after Mum's visit. I informed Dad while Mum was in England that I was making Christmas dinner at my house on Christmas Day and they were welcome to come. Dad seems to think this is a good idea, and is happily planning a salmon dinner for when Roy comes after Christmas. Probably going to mail the leftovers to Graeme....

I ended up working seven days in a row, as circumstances are conspiring again. I think I've lost the girl I spent time training last month, but I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt at the moment. However, as I don't have to study at the moment it's ok. I make more money this way... but I'm getting behind in the Christmas preparations, never my strong suit at the best of times.

"Attempted Murder, huh, what's that about... do they give a Nobel Prize for Attempted Chemistry?" -- Sideshow Bob

wrote the exam. wasn't too bad. now I just have to get through Christmas at the mall.

Mum has gone to England, as Grannie has been ill and hasn't been getting out of bed any more. I've refused to discuss Christmas plans, as since Roy is coming after Christmas, Mum wants to wait Christmas until then. I don't want to explain this to the kids...

Classes are over, for this term. Just one more final, on Friday. I've only enrolled for one course next term, after four straight terms without a break I think I'd like to take it a little easier. I've been using studying as an excuse to be lazy and not get very much exercise. And I lost some weight while I was having the vertigo, as it was like morning sickness all the time. In fact, since it lasted for three months, it very much resembled pregnancy.... So I'm going to try and get a bit more fresh air and walk more.

I should be studying. Theoretical integration. I've enjoyed the theory course, but it's been an awful lot of reading. And I read fast, I can't imagine how someone who didn't would be able to get through all the material, 600 pages or so and all pretty dense.

I'm stuck into studying for exams. Santa is ensconced at the mall, he's a chatty kind of guy, likes to wander around and hug unsuspecting passersby. Because of the location of my booth, I am witness to little exchanges between parents and kids. "But he's a nice Santa, why don't you want to go and talk to him?" I'm sure he'd be hurt if he knew how many of the small ones were terrified of him. We tell them, don't talk to strangers, then we want them to go and sit on the lap of some old guy in a red suit... mixed messages...

I'm also in the middle of filling out forms to become a volunteer at William Head, the federal prison mentioned earlier.

Tomorrow I'm going to William Head, the minimum security federal prison in Metchosin, to a Restorative Justice Symposium. There will, I'm told, be drug dogs but no searches... yikes. I can't bring anything except myself and picture id. Other people from my restorative justice class are going, too, but no-one I really talk to. Should be interesting.

I'm swimming in schoolwork, and people are starting their Christmas shopping so the booth is busy. Santa arrives at the mall tomorrow, I've been watching the mall guys build his castle all week. The mall employs about seven little men, all with bad teeth, thinning hair, and pot bellies, (except one, who is almost cute) and they wear brown work shirts with their names embroidered on them, and suspenders. They've been fighting over the construction of the castle, dickering about the tape lines on the floor and the placement of the little fences, etc, and I'm beginning to see strange parallels with the seven dwarves...

paintballing finally happened today, so Rach and her little friend Kaitlyn and I went to see the Looney Tunes movie. Jenna Elfman, some guy, ducks and rabbits, it was good. There were some good jokes, too.

the worst of the vertigo has subsided. I'm so happy.

It's late. I'm trying to finish my burglary paper... after this, one more set of six little papers and a final. onward and forward...

Ian's birthday today. He's ten. He woke everyone up at six, so he could open his presents. We gave him 2 way radios and Rachel bought him some fudge. I also made a large sticky cake, which is mostly eaten. He seems content. M is going to take him and his friends paintballing. I have rashly promised to take Rachel to the movies while that is going on. I think I may have to sit through spykids 3d. think sustaining thoughts for me, will you? 3d (shudder).