"Do not pursue what is illusory -- property and position: all that is gained at the expense of your nerves decade after decade and can be confiscated in one fell night. Live with a steady superiority over life -- don't be afraid of misfortune, and do not yearn after happiness; it is after all, all the same: the bitter doesn't last forever, and the sweet never fills the cup to overflowing". -- Alexander Solzhenitsyn.

I was sitting on the school bus with Ian, driving through Vancouver, and in the darkness he reached out to hold my hand. We sat in silence for a while, as Chinatown slid past the windows. I thought of how much joy he and his sisters have brought into my life, and how I wished I could stop the moment and just stay in it for a while. He said, "I'm glad you came with me, Mum". I thought about his mind, and how it slides away from my understanding now that he is getting older and doesn't share his every thought like he did when he was little. He had slyly pointed out the girl he likes, earlier in the day, and I noticed, in the dark, that she was sitting in the next seat. Does she watch him? I don't know. I'm glad I went with him, too.

off to school today, and then tomorrow I'm going with Ian's class to see the Anne Frank exhibit and ScienceWorld in Vancouver. 30 grade 5's, shudder.

I don't think I'll be getting the job I interviewed for yesterday. It was a decidedly antagonistic interview, conducted by a stone-faced woman. Fun fun fun.