Monday, May 07, 2018

Going to Finland in June to present at the European Association of Psychology and Law conference.  

Yesterday I absolutely couldn't get myself to work on the presentation at all.  Why does that happen?  Is it because I can't bear the whole idea of being exposed to the world with this?  Because the points I can make are so slim and fragile that I figure everyone will get up and leave?  Because I've spread myself too thin and my brain just rebels and says, no, not today.


So what makes a difference? 

Just accepting it, saying, ok brain, so it's not today.  Tomorrow.  To sit down and try to force myself yesterday would have been counterproductive and painful and I don't want this to be painful.  Nap lots, lie In bed and stare at the ceiling, watch conspiracy theory shows, play video games.  Go to the cabin and drink coffee with Baileys.  Make lentil soup, make scalloped potatoes, play with my plants and the piano, clean up, do laundry.  All the things that need doing and all the things that make me feel content.  Today I feel refreshed and resigned, if that's the right word.