Sometimes the problem with discussing things is that it pins them down at a certain level. I have been living with something that was said a month or so ago, to do with doubts about relationships, that set me to crying on the ferry for an hour and a half in front of strangers after M dropped me off to go to my last class at SFU. Last night, as we were going to bed, I suggested that if this little piece of pinned-down stuff were to no longer be true, that I would appreciate it if he could let me know, if and when that happened. He replied, "Oh, no, I don't have those doubts any more."

I want to question when it stopped being 'truth', but I also don't want to continue to give it any validity. I suspect it was almost a throw-away remark, and I don't want to know that either. The fact that he gives it no weight now suggests that it had little weight at the time really but was just a manifestation of his state of mind (conflicted). I am cautiously hopeful. Time will tell.

It's a new year. I thank the universe for all the beauty in my life, and hope that those in distress from natural disaster will find some comfort, if comfort is possible. Happy New Year to my scattered readers. (I mean that in a geographical and not a cerebral sense, you understand).