I had a good week. Lots of projects, not too many intox callers. Just a few, and they were cheerful. Funny, even, we had some laughs. I should add that I laughed with them, not at them.

I've been thinking a lot about energy levels. I feel as if I'm in an energy-conserving cycle, as far as doing things outside home, right now. As in, I am very efficient and dynamic at work, and then I come home and lose all motivation. I think about how I used to work almost full time, go to school part time, do three different volunteer things (Crimestoppers and the prison workshops and Community Policing), and it just makes me want to go and have a nap. But on the other hand, after three years of doing that to try and get the education and experience to get a job in something related to criminology, I'm now working for the police and enjoying it immensely. So, really, what's my incentive to head out again when I get home from work? I don't want to go out in the evenings. I've been marginally involved in a volunteer project, that requires evening meetings, and I was surprised at the level of non-engagement I felt. I think the person who suggested I come along to the meetings was a little discouraged. Normally when I take on something volunteerish I am much more active and committed. Maybe the wanting to do that sort of thing will return, when I get more used to my new job.

However. One of the plusses is that I no longer have to explain why I feel compelled to do so much. Whenever someone found out how many things I did, they would often start to justify their own lives, and why they couldn't be involved. Except my friend Jane - she has always maintained that I was kept so busy because I was trying to hide from some truth about myself. Don't know if that's really the reason, but if so I think my truth will probably pop out and bite me sometime real soon.

So. I want to remember this, when I get back to my normal self and start doing things in the evenings again. Everything's just a phase. Energy comes and goes. Volunteer stuff gets on just fine without me. I am neither indispensable nor indefatigable.