You know what's weird? Every year about this time things seem to break down. Last year I felt the need to share the world's most depressing poem, in 2005 I didn't post for the three and a half weeks around June 1st, and when I did it was to report chaos, in 2004 it was my delusion that I'd died and this:

things are getting a bit weird here. in case you haven't noticed. I'm obsessing about outkast and my concentration is shot. I'm contemplating giving up all my worldly possessions and becoming a bag lady. I have a nice bag, that M brought me back from a conference he went to recently, and I've been filling it with stuff.,

and in 2003 I had this to say:


I wish there were a way to make it all go away. To sit down in a corner and say, no, I've lost my sanity and I'm just going to sit here for a month until it comes wandering back of its own accord, and apologizes for screwing with me for so long. Then the dust under the couches and the pine needles in the bathtub and the clothes festering under the beds would be remedied by some sort of kindly matron person, and I could knit little sweaters for squirrels and the state would pay for it. I'm sure the squirrels would have all the answers, too, and if I listened to them they'd tell me that work is for suckers and life is for hanging upside down in trees and yelling at people. I wish I could rid myself of the feeling that I'm the biggest idiot in the world. That I could resign myself to the fact that my opinion is never going to amount to a hill of beans around here.

2002 around the beginning of June was when the doctor called to tell me he thought I had MS.

2001 there was a big gap between the end of April and the beginning of July. (these last two are from my now archived Diaryland diary)

What does this mean?

I don't know. I should mention that this is one of the things I often do, I like to look back at "this week in history" courtesy of my weblog and my old Diaryland site. Especially with the Diaryland site there is often a big contrast between my worries at the time and how I know things turned out. And I like to be reminded that I did ALL THAT schooling from 2002 to 2005, and have now got a job that uses it. But it was only today, looking at my 'first week in June-ish' posts from the past few years that I see parallels in emotion. I wonder if it's the anniversary of something but I can't think what.