Tuesday, July 04, 2006

I've been thinking about an encounter I had with a visitor, at work, ever since it happened. Here's how it went.

There's a barge down on the waterfront that needed to be inspected. The inspector was on his way from Ottawa, and I began to receive a series of phone calls inquiring about arrangements for the inspector and keys for the barge, which were allegedly in our possession. Keys were located, arrangements were made, most notably between me and a man named Will who was to escort the inspector onto the barge. I know Will, we were on a course together for three weeks last year, and we are on first name basis. And we spoke a few times in the days before the inspector came.

The inspector dude comes bouncing into my office, and I give him the key I have put aside. He introduces himself (I promptly forgot his name, but I believe his first name was Roy or Ron or something). He says to me, "And you are?" I say, as I always do, "I'm Kate."

Then I phone Will. "Hello, Will," I say, "It's Kate. I have your man here, to inspect the barge. Do you want me to send him down to you?"

I have to tell you, I went out of my way to locate these keys for this man. It took quite a few phone calls, as no-one initially knew what sort of a key we were even looking for. And so his next comments surprised me.

When I got off the phone with Will, Mr. Barge Inspector said to me, "I'm going to give you a tip. When you talk to people, always give your last name. That's why women aren't getting ahead in this world." And then he said, "You have to show people that you take yourself seriously. Kate will always be the under-parlourmaid."

I laughed, because I wasn't entirely sure what else to do. He tried to impress upon me his seriousness. Asked me my surname. I told him, and he said, "Well, you should be proud of that, it's a good French name." I replied, "It's my husband's name. He's French. I'm not."

I don't know what to think of this. Should I be offended? Or is he right? I should add, I think, that Kate is not a common name in this town. And I always say, when I phone on business, "It's Kate at the RCMP." We're a first-name sort of town. When people call to talk to the constables, they use first names.

Some twenty years ago, someone told me (Phil Litke) that "Katie" was a girl with pigtails and I should make everyone call me Kate. So I did. And when I went to Iqaluit last week, after this latest conversation, and had to introduce myself to strangers I told them my full name.

However. I'm inclined to think that women will never get ahead in the world while some men feel free to give them hints like that. I can't think of a situation in the last few months where I was made to feel more inferior. Oh well.

7 comments:

Angela 菊地 Kneale said...

I read your post; and, it is uncertain whether you take the man's comment about your surname ill or not. I can't imagine identifying eagerly and avidly with 1 side of my existence. Some older name calling traditions do not fit into the Modern world of working women. You sound successful already... much peace

Edward said...

Nonsense, hogwash, and dare I say, Poppycock.

Women don't get ahead because of a weakness inherent in the system. See men get ahead by exploiting women and hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

Clearly this man was repressing you, by making you the victim at fault for his victimizing. Its a form of violence and its inherent in the system.

I think Kate from the RCMP is just fine. While at work I use Ed all the time. Though if I want results I use "Commander Woodward". There isn't one of those for real, but it gets folks attentions.

kaiela said...

thank you, oko_ne, and welcome!

"outdated imperialist dogma", ed, that's wonderful. I'll have to remember that.

Howlin Mad Murdoch said...

Good points ed and Oko_ne.

He obviously is a man who feels threatened by the expanding presence of women in the work force. I would even go so far as to suggest that he has a small penis.

First names are all I ever get from everyone I deal with, both with clients, co-workers, consultants and etc. I can't remember the last time someone told me their last name.

Last point, screw him for making you feel inferior. Send him to me for a good beat down.

Delia said...

Regardless of gender or rank relative to myself, I have referred to every single supervisor, department chair, manager, coworker, etc. by his/her first name. Each of them has asked me to do so. They got ahead on their merits or credentials, not based on some kind of verbal one-uppage. Tell him you're not Kate the upstairs maid but Kate the shrew who will slap him about the face until he stops being medieval. Blah.

Michelle de Seattle said...

I'd be pretty suspicious of a businessperson asking for my last name right away. I'm X working at Y. This is my phone number. What more do you need? Are you trying to stalk me? Are you a Phoenix serial killer? Thank you for your suggestion, I'll make sure to prioritize that [into the roundfile].

kaiela said...

Yeah, my mom told me what she used to say to people who made impertinent suggestions like that. "I'll have to think about that." I like yours too, Shelly...