I'm tired tonight. this evening as I was walking home from Patti's, a little kid who looked to be about six shouted something at me. I turned and said, "what?" He repeated himself - "fucking white". I grinned at him and said, "thank you" but I walked a bit faster. Kids in this town spend a lot of time throwing rocks at things, and some of them have really good aim. I've taken calls at work from grownups who are outraged to find themselves the target of rock barrages as they go to the store.

Someone who failed a learner driver's test today said something about 'stupid' under his breath that I suspect was directed at me. I ignored him.

But I found that this evening with the little kid, I had some anger rise up inside me. I watched it for a while with interest. Would I go smack a little kid? I don't think so. But the urge was definitely there. But what I want to know is why? I'm an adult. This is a kid that doesn't know me. I should add that the kids who do know me, from work or Cubs, always greet me happily by name, some of them even run across the road to give me hugs. And once or twice kids I know have stopped kids I don't know from shouting slurs at me.

Does racism mean anything really, coming from a six year old who doesn't know me at all? Why is my response immediate anger?