we are all settled in. lovely house. my computer is set up and running now, I'm always the last because I don't squeak as much as everyone else. my desk was being used to hold all the pictures that needed hanging, but we hung them Christmas Eve and then I could set up my computer. I have a corner in the dining room, with all my frogs and my pictures, I feel very at home here.

pictures coming. really.

I got a whole bunch more work in the mail today, recorded interviews from a recent murder, a recent armed robbery and subsequent standoff, and something new -- a cold case from 20 years ago! So I should be busy with that for a month or so.

Tomorrow we move! I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. One of the stumbling blocks is that we have to move ALL the food we ordered and had brought up on the barge. We have a room full of food. At least it's warm today, only minus 12, but we've only got about an hour or so of semi-daylight every day, so it will be a dark move. As we're moving into a single-family house (this is a fiveplex we currently live in) we will have to be more careful about the water and sewage. Permafrost makes underground water pipes impractical, so water is delivered by truck and stored in an inside tank, on the ground floor. Sewage is stored in a tank, usually in the same room, and pumped out by different trucks. We don't notice this in our current house, but I know that places I have worked and visited run out of water regularly with an ordinary-sized tank.

The garbage has leaked all over the kitchen floor. One of the dogs climbed on the table and strewed sugar all over the dining room. Packed and half-packed boxes are everywhere, and the kids keep wanting things that I've already packed. Miguel has gone to one of the other Kitikmeot communities, to work. At the moment, Roli is hiding under my legs and Joeby's trying to wrestle with him. I took Joeby out after he had his supper, and he spent the whole time digging something up on the tundra and then eating it. Don't know what, but I guess he thought it was tasty. So he'll probably be sick later. I have all the fun.

This post is really just to test the beta thing. I don't trust it...

It’s funny how we fill our lives.

When I first moved here, I felt as if I had gobs and gobs of free time. I had no commitments, nobody ever phoned me, and when I wasn’t working I could please myself.

It started slowly. I took Rachel to enrol her in Cubs, at the urging of my neighbour, and got talked into helping as a leader. So that’s Tuesday night every week, plus a planning meeting (where we giggle a lot and don’t plan very much) about once a month.

Rachel began sleeping over at one particular friend’s house every Friday night, and when I went to drop her off I would be invited in. Now I’m pretty much expected, over there, for ‘tea’ every Friday night.

When the man who cleaned the detachment left the community, I agreed to clean the detachment for a while. My boss was going on holiday, and didn’t want to deal with the lack of cleaning staff until he got back. When it went out for tender, I bid on the contract and got it. So now I’m committed to that. Which means I have to, when I’m working somewhere else as I am at the moment, either get up early or go in there after supper and clean bathrooms, wash floors etc.

I went for ‘tea’ one Friday night a few weeks ago, (and there was brandy, I think) and after two glasses I was persuaded to allow my name to be put forward for the District Education Authority. They needed seven members, seven of us let our names stand, and we were acclaimed. I should mention that I have a very hazy idea of what the DEA does-- but I guess I'm about to find out. I know that there are issues that need to be addressed in this town, but I don't know how much power we will have to make any changes.

And church. I have mentioned this before, the fact that since the minister left and the congregation’s been doing a lay-reader rotation, I’ve been a regular attendee. And then we all go for coffee afterwards. And today we finished coffee at one lady’s house and then went to another lady’s house for her Christmas Open House.

I can’t sleep tonight. The staff Christmas party for the detachment was tonight. I think it was really sweet of them to invite me, since (although I do the cleaning/ guarding/ transcribing) I had to relinquish the clerk job when the maternity leave girl came back. I ate too much. (It was all so good!) And now my stomach won’t let me lie down.

I accomplished a lot of packing this weekend. A bit too much, I think, given that we still have 10 days or so to live in this house. When I went to wrap the Christmas gift I was taking to the staff party I realized I had packed all the scotchtape, and had to rummage around in boxes looking for it. The kids have packed a lot of their stuff too, Ian didn’t get up this morning, because he’s packed his alarm clock.

We're packing. Our mortgage was approved, and if all the stars align there will be an exodus from this townhouse on the 15th of December. So, if things are a bit sparse on this weblog for a week or two, you will forgive me. I'm working very hard at the post office, too. (Dear Readers, we need to reconsider the idea of Christmas cards. Please.)

Rachel had a wonderful time in Disneyworld. But she's glad to be home, and we're happy to have her home. I missed her terribly...

I'm frightened of the new Blogger version. I think it will lose all my posts, somehow, or refuse to let me back in to put up new ones. I think it plots against me. I think the Blogger people are laughing behind their hands, waiting for me to fall for their evil scheme.

I've been out. There was wine. I'm home now. I should go to bed.

4000 pounds of mail arrived at the post office yesterday (where I currently work). I want my old job back. That's more than three pounds of mail for each man woman and child in town. There's probably mail for the dogs in there. I can't even begin to describe the amount of work I did today. (But in some ways it's satisfying. I like to restore order from chaos.)

When I was in high school, I wanted to be a vet. (And I knew who I was going to marry, and I'm 0 for 2). Life takes me strange places. I acknowledge that there are choices I didn't make. And choices I did. But I also would not take back ANYTHING that I've ever done. I cherish my memories. We were discussing that movie, the one where the machine takes away the memories -- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I would not want that done.

did I mention there was wine? maybe I did...

Joeby and Roli like each other. Joeby likes having someone to play with, they wrestle a lot. Roli's whole head fits in Joeby's mouth, a game they both enjoy, and in consequence Roli is often quite damp with Joeby-drool.

Rachel is at Disneyworld. I miss her terribly, but it sounds like they are having a fantastic time. So far the highlight of her trip has been meeting Tigger. Closely followed by the log and water ride that gets everyone soaked.

Kirsten baked me a cake for my birthday. Last year the cake the kids made me fell apart when they tried to get it out of the pan, so it ended up as a free-form glob covered in icing. This year it rose funny, all on one side, for some reason, but was very tasty.

We had a blizzard yesterday. Raging winds and blowing snow, I stayed home, did a bit of packing, all our spring jackets that we won't be needing again before we move, and did a jigsaw puzzle with Kirsten. Then we went to Patti's house, she made supper for my birthday and we sat around all evening and talked. A nice birthday, all in all.

Ed wonders: "how do you seem to have bought a house? Isn't that a little like being half pregnant?"

Well. We have made an offer. The offer has been accepted. The bank says we can have a mortgage, but the papers haven't come back yet as 'approved'. Then it has to go to Land Titles. So, in theory we have bought a house. In practice, we'll see. It's nice, though, four bedrooms and a view of the bay.

Things this weekend.

1. We seem to have bought a house. More about this later.
2. Roli ate Kirsten's Skype headset. Narrowly escaped with his life.
3. My grannie has been released from the nursing home, but is so confused now that she keeps asking my aunt when she can go home. My aunt keeps patiently explaining that she is home.
4. The bishop was in town. So we had communion.
5. The heat is working again in the church. Which means that all the flies dormant in the walls woke up, flew around, and died on the floor.

(Else, if thou wilt not let my people go, behold, I will send swarms of flies upon thee, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people, and into thy houses: and the houses of the Egyptians shall be full of swarms of flies, and also the ground whereon they are. Exodus 8:21)

This necessitated the ceremonial Vacuuming of the Flies in the three minutes prior to the service. Kirsten felt we should perhaps be standing for that.

6. Rachel leaves for Florida on Tuesday, so she's in a state of high anticipation.
7. We took the snowmobile across the bay, Ian fell off the komatik and we had to go back for him, and later we were chased by a pack of loose dogs.

This week, I've been working at the Post Office. I think I need a t-shirt that says "JobSlut". To recap, since August 2005 I have been:

Wellness workshop facilitator
Women's shelter worker
Materials management clerk
Health records clerk
Police clerk
Interview transcriptionist
Lockup guard
Custodian
Social Work instructor
and now postal clerk.

Good thing they didn't want a resume. It's kind of a mess. I don't know if this with the post office is anything even remotely permanent. The post office was closed earlier this week due to a general lack of staff, and the lady I worked for at the health centre told the postal people that I might be interested.

One thing about this, though, I've not had too many dull moments since I've been here. I should add that I'm still on call for guarding, I'm still cleaning the detachment, and I've still got ongoing transcription work. (sleep is nice too. sometimes I get a bit of that.)

So I went to the library today to tell the librarian that Roli ate a book. She just laughed, and said, "That's so cool that you told me, do you know how many people would just not say anything, and then when I asked, pretend they lost it?"

We drove off up the river today on the snowmobile, to our cabin. The drive was frosty, and the cabin even more so when we got there. For a while on the way back my mind was empty, as we followed the track and the land melded with the sky.

Today is Ian's birthday. He's thirteen. Hard to believe. He's a good two or three inches taller than me, and still growing madly. At the moment, about an inch a month, which I wouldn't think possible if I wasn't living with him. He goes off to school in the morning and comes back taller in the evening. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration. But you get the idea.

Roli, the newest member of the household, is settling in. He ate a library book, for some reason, yesterday morning while I was at work. I'm thinking of taking in the picture I took of him, to show the nice librarian lady. Here's my new dog. Isn't he cute. Here's what's left of the book he ate. It wasn't a very good book, anyway. One of those that looks good on the cover but turns out to be horribly written. I don't even think it was that tasty, because Roli didn't finish it either.

Yesterday:

I went to my friend Patti's for coffee after church, and backed into a mini-van parked downhill from me in her driveway. Horrible scraping sounds, I swear (I've got a truck full of kids, mine and some others) and hop out. Kids all hop out too. We find that in fact I have not at all damaged the mini-van, and the alarming white scrape is DIRT that RUBS OFF. I am not joking. There is still a bit of a scratch. I go inside to tell the owner, I'm SO sorry, I just ran into your van, and she just laughs!

I agreed, after a 4pm phone call, to go into work at midnight. I dutifully nap in the evening and go in to work -- at which point I am greeted by someone else who was called in, because nobody told the evening shift guy that I'd said I'd do the midnight! I said to him, so what do we do now? He said, happy guy, Oh, I'll stay. You go home. So I did. Slept through the night and went in to work a dayshift after a 7am call. Much nicer.

(I don't know. I'm thinking all this luck can't last...)

This is Roli. His owners are away a lot, and he's lonely. So he's come to live with us. He's almost eight months old, he's housetrained and cratetrained, and pretty well-mannered other than he's a bit humpy with Joeby, being au naturel and in need of neutering soon.

I really wasn't intending to get another dog. I don't want to replace Jazz. But at the moment it doesn't feel like that. Cos Roli's his own dog...

On the radio, while I was at work:

"Terry Waite was a special envoy to the Archbishop of Canterbury, who worked as a hostage negotiator until he himself was taken captive and spent almost five years as a hostage. This Sunday on Tapestry, Mary Hynes talks with Terry Waite about how he survived it all."

He was talking about how in times of crisis your body has reserves you aren't aware of, that it continues to go on long after you think it should just stop.

He told Mary Hynes, when she asked him what his ordeal did to his faith, "My faith has been exposed for what it is -- uncertain, questioning, vulnerable."

He also said that his contact with his captors taught him that: "I was probably fairly narrow in my understanding of faith."

He said he learnt that one of the most difficult things is how to live creatively - with people of different backgrounds, and to find a common source.

The interviewer moved on to the question: How can A GOD allow all this?

He didn't seem to have issues around this. Amazingly, he asked her, "How do you view your own responsibility? Have you been a kid too long?"

Near the end of the piece, Mary asked him if he would contribute a song to her informal poll. She's been asking those she interviews, mostly on spiritual topics, to name a song that has touched them in some spiritual way. Waite said, very quickly, "Please Release Me." And sang a few bars.

Then he said no, he was just kidding, and picked, and I was very surprised: A Whiter Shade of Pale. Which has been, since I was about 16, one of my enduringly favourite songs. He explained his choice by saying that there's Bach in the background, and so I went looking for that, but it turns out it's only inspired by Bach. Or so Wikipedia says. (And you may know I have issues with Wikipedia, since they tried to ban me as a 'possible sock puppet')

Do I have any faith? I don't know. I think if I do, it's more than vulnerable. What do I believe? Certainly I know I err on the side of personal responsibility... And yeah, different backgrounds can be difficult. That the faith of another makes sense in their context, even if that context seems fake or contrived to me. Is the outward expression of grief ever not sentimental?

So many things that happen to me at the moment, I can't talk about. Not that I'm trying to be coy, or anything, but I can't discuss what happens at work. And I wish I could, because some of it is very emotional. It was court week this week, and we had folk on remand staying the week. Usually the lockup is just drunks or mentally unbalanced folk. Not much in the way of conversation. I'll never understand drunk people. I mean, if I've already said no you can't have any coffee until you're sober, and then you start insulting me (I get a lot of racial/sexual slurs) do you really think I'm going to go, "Oh, dear, I'd better give you coffee so you stop calling me names." I know the Innuinaqtuin for stupid white chick. So don't think you're fooling me with that either. I also know most of the names for sexual organs.

Anyway. This week, with regular sober folk, I actually had some conversations, and felt like I was actually doing something useful. At 4 o'clock the other morning, before a couple of them were due to appear in court, I was listening to their anxieties...

What I'm saying, I guess, is that it feels strange to be writing a blog that can't really reflect what I'm doing. When I was running the lottery booth, I used to be able to report on my strange happenings. But not now.

I'm so jealous.

Well, not so much as a regular thing, but certainly right now. I'm jealous of the young blonde pretty girl who has blithely reclaimed her job after maternity leave. I don't think she appreciates how good she has it. But, then again, maybe that's just me being old and petty. Because I feel old and petty. It doesn't matter that I've been approached about three or four other jobs. I want her job. I feel like a vulture. And I can't shake the feeling that somehow life is not being FAIR to me. Grmph.

On a brighter note, the class I'm teaching has been superb. I've had a wonderful time debating group theories and practices with them. Trying to come up with enough material to challenge them without overwhelming them. Too much fun.

Last weekend we bought a cabin. Out by Mount Pelly. So, if any of you want to come and visit, we can retire to the edge of civilization and hide. Come north. We'll fish. Or we'll just sit on the porch and watch the lake. (We have a porch! Near a lake!)